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Tuesday, September 17th, 2013
7:45 am
Dating a couple - for better or for worse?
So I started my first day of work yesterday and it went well. My boyfriend and girlfriend said they would miss me. When I came home, I was telling them about work but it's like they didn't even care at all. There was no "we missed you" or I love you's or hugs or kisses. I told my bf before that I was hanging on by a thread with this relationship and again it's like he didn't even hear me. They told me that while I was at work that they would clean and organize the bedroom but all they did was fool around and play games. So I was at work while they were having the time of their lives. They had each other. They always have each other and I have nothing. Half the time this doesn't feel like home. I feel like they would be happier with me not around because they were certainly having fun while I was at work. Everyday all day I am either really angry or really depressed or an extreme both. I know if I leave I am gunna be miserable, and not have the life and potential that I can have but I'm not happy by being here. I honestly don't know how long I can hold on to this when I'm reaching but no one is reaching back. I don't feel loved or wanted or needed. It's pretty bad when all I want to do is sleep or be alone just to get away from what I'm feeling. I've been through some pretty shitty times and felt some pretty bad emotions but I have never felt them thsi strongly. I have never felt so angry or depressed in my life. They are always all over each other and I'm left in the dark and it's too much.
I've noticed when I touch my boyfriend he pushes me away but when my girlfriend does he embraces it. I hate it. Sometimes I feel like I hate them and I hate being here and hate everything. I just get so angry and I can't do ANYTHING to make me feel better. I want to get away and scream and tear at things and throw things. I don't know what to do anymore.

~Grey Heart~

Current Mood: still pissed
7:42 am
Dating a couple
So as a little background; 8 and a half months ago I started dating a couple. We call it a 3way relationship. I am dating them both equally. At first it was amazing, we were all having fun being in love. Then some time around april I was forced to move out for the night because the girl didn't feel like I loved her. Well we have all moved past that, or so I thought. Ever since then it hasn't been the same between me and her while me and him are just fine. All she does is hand all over him, and be lovey and cutsey with him while I am left in the background by myself. Sometimes she will talk to me and have a nice moment and laugh but nothing more then that. I say nothing and wait until things get better and suffer. Many of you will say "talk to her" but you see, you can't talk to her about things that will upset her because of her psycological issues. She will get extremely emo and upset and turn it around and make subjects thats have nothing to do with it, a part of it. My boyfriend understands and is behind me 100% but like I said. You can'talk to her. I feel like she would rather have me not around so she can be alone with him and I'm not jealous of her, I'm jealous of both of them because they give each other so much attention and affection and most of the time I don't feel like I'm considered a part of the whole.
A part of her "issues" is having to be right all the time. It has gotten so bad that I can't express an opinion or even a fact! My mother was adopted so the only blood I know is my mother sister and grandmother. Thus I don't know my family medical history THEREFORE I don't know what is genetic. I have always had afib flutters, or heart flutters. Your pulse speeds up for a brief second and you need to gasp for air, your heart feels like it beats really hard and sometimes it can make you dizzy. This is not normal to happen as often as it happens to me. It can lead to serious problems like blood clots which can give you a stroke. As it happens hyperthyroidism has a link to this. My boyfriend has had hyperthyroidism and is currently suffering hypothyroidism this time. He was listing off some symptoms which were pretty detailed and all of them checked off. Thyroid problems can also lead to serious health risks. So my girlfriend pretty much said to not worry about it because it's just anxiety. There are no anxiety disorders in my known family and if you knew me, it takes a LOT to give me anxiety. I always keep a level head. If my she was telling me this to help me it would be one thing but it's because she is going through a lot of things herself. She has psycological issues, a back problem and she can't be one up'd in her mind. When you injure yourself she has to compare it to something she's had or suddenly something is wrong with her.
I am proud to say I am in love with my girlfriend, I am not proud to say that she is not the girl I fell in love with and I am literaly on strings with this whole relationship. The only thing is that this thing we all have is my life and ending it would be taking my soul away from me. I have no idea what to do.

Current Mood: pissed
Tuesday, September 10th, 2013
5:50 pm
I think life is all about three thing's : Winning, Lossing and Shairing.
Wining- Other's Hurt.
Lossing- Bad Thing's.
Shairing- Happy moment's with your family and your loving friend's.
So always be happy in each and every moment's of your life.Be happy and make other's happy.
Saturday, September 7th, 2013
8:54 pm
A friend that wants MORE than friendship
Hello Everyone!

I am pretty new to this community, so please work with me if I sound like I don't know what Im doing. lol

I have a friend I met online years ago. I got married during our friendship, and cut off our relationship. The guy is about 16 years older than me. I am in my lower 30s. I guess he never forgot about me , because about a month ago, I got a phone call on my parents house phone, and it was him. This was very odd to me, because I had NEVER gave out my information to him, or anyone. Just my name. No one ever has called me there, and I never want anyone to either. He told me that he googled me for 6 months, and literally found everything out about me. It was pretty frightening actually, and although he sounded extra happy he had found me, I really wasn't.

I felt horrible and gave him my number to text me. It isn't my actual cell number, but an application I use, kinda like messenger , when I don't want someone to have my personal number. Lately, he has been telling me how much he loves me, and how he wants me to come live with him. He has just really started to annoy me, and I want to let him go, for good, but I want to do it gently, not harshly. I'm afraid that I will be WAY to hard on him. He was my friend, for a long time, and i did care about him, but now , he is just odd, and i don't like him at all. I don't know how to handle this. If anyone has any feedback, please message me. Especially a male. I would think they would have great insight. I'll take help from either side though.

Thanks so much for reading!!

Hugs and Love,
Friday, September 6th, 2013
10:16 pm
Hello Everyone..from the vampirewriter..
Hello Livejournal!

I was scrolling through all the communities, and figured id add this one. That is me, in the picture on my icon. I am a 32 year old writer, whom is currently writing a book that will be published this winter. I am really looking for friends on here, as I don't know anything about LJ really. :/ I am a single woman, but don't really want to be anymore..so if there are any men out there..that would like to get to know me, I'd love to chat. :)

Please feel free to add me! You may go on my Journal and check out some excerpts from my upcoming book. Yes, it is about Vampires, and it is going to be amazing! I am excited to meet you all, so please don't hesitate to write! Until later..

Hugs And Love,

Wednesday, September 4th, 2013
7:07 pm
(Unhappy Happiness) Mr Gorgeous
I have a lot of craziness going on in my life. I figured writing them down and sharing it to the world would be a good idea to get different opinions and views from people I don't know (that way there are no bias decisions). I thought I'd start from the beginning to get a better understanding of my life.

Winter 2006 - Boy meets Girl
It was always the four of us; Jessie, Dana, Rachel and me. I've never had many girlfriends. I always thought girls are too high maintenance and selfish. We were close - we even gave each other titles. Jessie was the drama queen - always so dramatic and was big into school plays; Dana was the party animal - she had connections with the whole world I swear - she knew who was having a party and where there would be one; Rachel was the wild one - if we tell her to do something, she would most definitely do it; and I was the innocent one - I was the last to turn 21, never smoked or done drugs, and never had a one-night-stand. I may have A LOT of guy-friends, but I have never kissed any of them. They all viewed me as "one of the guys."

Anyways, back to my friends and I. We would go out to bars and dance clubs together almost every weekend. I've met a lot of guys that my girlfriends would want me to date, but I didn't feel comfortable enough to actually go on a date with them.

There was one guy I've talked though online every once in a while that lived about 30 minutes away. His name is Kevin. He was super gorgeous. Tall, really muscular, shaggy blonde curly hair and from chatting online, seemed to have a great personality. He used to be a model for Abercrombie, but stopped because he got a few tattoos on his upper arms. And I guess the agency he worked for frowned-upon tattoos. We've never talked about actually meeting in person which didn't bother me.

On Halloween weekend, the girls and I went to the bars downtown (biggest hangout for college students). Our favorite bar was called Confetti's. It was basically a dance club. It was always crowded and the music bouncing. During one of our drinking break from dancing like crazy, I spotting a guy who I swore looked just like Kevin. He and his buddy were dressed up like snow boarders (Minus the snow suites). We must have stared at each other several times throughout the night. I never worked up the courage to say something to him that night.

Days later, I finally sent Kevin a message though his Myspace page (a social networking site before Facebook).
"Hey there, I gotta ask. I swore I saw you at one of the bars here in town and was wondering if I was just seeing a look-a-like."
Later on, I got a reply back
"Nope, you definitely saw me. I thought the same exact thing. I was too shy to talk to you. If I knew that it was you for sure, I definitely would have come and talked to you"
After that message I got all giddy. Something clicked in my mind and I wanted to actually meet up. So I sent a message back.
"The girls and I are planning on going out this weekend. Want to meet up at Confetti's? We're thinking around 9:30-10:00pm -ish"
Almost immediately, a respond.
"Sounds good to me. My buddy and I were planning on going out Saturday. I'll see you then."
I was so excited that I finally get to meet Kevin.

When the weekend finally came, Dana and I always go shopping to find a new outfit for that night. I’m not big on what’s hot as far as fashion goes. I’m a Plain Jane, as plain and boring as they get. Dana always knows what to buy. She chose this sequenced black tank top, with a gray cardigan, and a new pair of jeans to wear that night. I chose a plain blue v-neck, ¾ sleeve shirt, with a lace tank top to layer underneath and a new pair of jeans. Dana tried to get me to buy something more on the sexy side, but nothing she was showing me was appealing. After shopping, Dana and I met Meagan at Dana’s house to get ready.

We arrived downtown about little after 9pm. Downtown is the place where mostly college students go to party. There is about a two block radius filled with a mixture of bars; from sports bars to dance clubs. We like to go early to pay the five dollar cover charge at Confetti’s, which pays for a 12oz cup and all you can drink (mix drinks) until 11pm. After about an hour, the place started to get crowded and we decided to dance for a bit. I felt a poke on one of my shoulders and turned around. It was him! I got so excited I swore time sped up. I felt like I stared at him for minuets but it was only a split second.

I immediately gave him a tight hug, smiled and yelled over the music, “Nice to finally meet you!”
“Yes it is.” He replied back. He had the sweetest smile on his face.
“Want to go over to our table?” I asked. I couldn’t dance anymore. My legs were shaky from being so nervous.
“Sure.” Kevin and his buddy followed us over to our table that was located just outside of the dance floor. Walking over to our table was a challenge. I hope I didn’t look like a fool.
“So how do you guys know each other?” Asked Dana. Of course she has to know everything and anything about me. Kevin and I looked at each other. I know we met online, but that so cliché.
“Through a mutual friend.” He replied. I guess that wasn’t entirely a lie. We do have a friend in common, and she is only in one of my classes at the tech.
We’ve talked throughout the night and bar hopped to the bars that are playing good dancing music. We even exchanged phone numbers. At about midnight, Kevin and his buddy ended up meeting some of their friends at a different bar.

Later that week, Kevin sent me a message though my Myspace page.
Hey, had a great time chatting with you. Would you like to hang out sometime?

I was super excited when I got that message. I immediately replied back.
Sure! What would you like to do?

Would you like to come over to my place and watch a movie sometime?

That would be great. When?

How about Friday night? Come for 7?

Friday it is. See ya then.

Friday night came and all I wore was a plain brown long sleeve shirt with jeans. I should’ve worn something cuter but I’m no fashionista. It was about a 30 min drive to Kevin’s house. I called when I got into his gated community. Yes, gated community. I was surprised. His parents must be loaded. All these houses were brick and had at least 2 stall garages attached and lots of windows. Kevin talked me through on how to get to his house which was about 3 blocks from the entrance of the community.

I parked along the street and he met me at the end of his driveway. “Hey!” Kevin greeted me.
I couldn’t stop smiling, “Hi.”
I followed him to the front door which was lined with white brick, “I’ll show you around.”
“Thank you.” I replied. I was super nervous. Thank God I didn’t invite him over. My parent’s house doesn’t compare to his. All we have is a typical 4 bedroom tri-level home.
Kevin went on showing me around the main part of the home which consisted of a huge living room, a kitchen and a den room, and an extra room which was converted to an office. Upstairs were the bedrooms and downstairs is where we hung out. It was fixed with a big screen TV and a bar and in the far corner was a little weight lifting area with a treadmill and an elliptical.
On the huge leather couch, we ended up watching Dane Cook and a few comedy movies. We were laughing together and talked about our interests. We were never more than about a foot away from each other. I didn’t leave Kevin’s place until midnight-ish. He walked me to my car and gave me a tight hug. I thought we had a great time, but I felt like something was a little off.

(To be continued)
Saturday, April 28th, 2012
10:36 pm
In Another Life......
Originally posted by ordinarygreen01 at In Another Life......
Was listening to Katy Perry's song "The One that Got Away" today..... I remember hearing this song from the radio.... when I was in Colin's car...... he was driving pretty fast and..... I was listening to "In another life... I will be your girl... We keep our promises be us against the world...." and I felt kind of good.... cause he was so cool... and I was his girl.......

But now I listen to this song it just have another kind of meaning...... "In another life...." It only happens in "another" life...... not in this one...... and that is true how it is right now....... I still like him...... I still love him.... but I can't be with him in this life........ because he doesn't do no good..... In another life...... if he can be a good person....... but still be so cool and attractive..... then I could be with him....... that only happens in another life.......

I still remember the days when we were together...... I still remember the feeling of be in love with him........ it really felt good...... he loves me so much.... he thinks I'm so beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, pretty....... I'm his princess..... and he is so cool and sexy..... feel so good to be his gf........ I'll always remember that....... I am attracted to bad boys like that......... I think I really am...... just from the beginning that was what attracts me to him...... only that I thought he didn't really do bad things like bad boys do but........ anyways.......

I like him....... I really do....... I still do........ but for the sake of staying in the right direction of life..... I can't be with him...... there's no way I would go and deal with drugs with him...... how can I do that.... He's really doing nothing good all day.......

But in another life
I would be your girl
We'd keep all our promises
Be us against the world

In another life
I would make you stay
So I don't have to say
You were the one that got away
12:25 am
Love and..............
Originally posted by ordinarygreen01 at Love and..............
It's 1:40am now, and I'm not tired at all. I'm really a night person. I love staying up late at night, until very late and I don't feel tired at all.....

I really want to write on here today. I've got good reasons and..... well the best thing about writing here is that nobody knows who I am and I can write anything I want. This is really cool. so I can express anything I like.......

But I haven't posted anything here for so long.... but today I've really got things to write about.... well..... It's good to be able to say anything I want over here......

I never thought..... I could ever be in love again....... I've been by myself and lonely for...... I can't really count for how long...... feels like forever...... but last time I really felt that I'm in love was about over 15 years ago...... well that's really long enough.....

In these 15 years I have had sexual experiences several times...... but mostly was just one night or short period of time.... and was kind of with strangers..... was nothing about love and affection at all.....

And I had suffered from mental illness for so many years, I've been just so unwell that finding love was just out of the question.....

But I've received all kinds of help with my mental problem and finally understand totally about my problem and found a type of medication that really works for me..... I still have to take the medication everyday but....... it works and my symptoms are reduced to the minimum..... I'm mostly normal and feels just like a normal person except that I have to take the pill everyday...... which is nothing much at all........

I've really been feeling totally better since last year...... and since I feel I'm mostly recovered and back to normal again...... that's why I was thinking about finding love again...... cause I don't want to be alone all my life, I want to find a perfect partner for myself...... so I began to try online dating....... I was so kind of desperate that I joined all the online dating websites that I can...... I got accounts from many different websites so that my chances might be higher........ and I mostly join the free sites or the ones that are free for girls or free when the other person has a paid membership........ so after all the websites I didn't have to spend any money on it........ which is pretty cool........

And I began to join online dating for a few months I think....... I was kind of desperate........ everyday the first thing I do online is to check all the websites that I joined and see if there is anyone new contact me..... that began my routine for the past few months.........

And I've went to meet the person in real life from the dating websites about 5 or 6 times now........ most times the guys like me, and they all tell me they think I'm pretty...... I guess that's the main reason they like me cause I'm pretty...... but the problem was always that------- but I don't like them...... Usually they are just ordinary people..... not that good looking or anything....... I just don't find them attractive at all........ so although they are attracted to me........ but I'm not attracted to them......... so that's why although they really wanted to see me again, but I just don't want to see them again..........

But the most recent meet with a guy from the dating site was different...... I didn't expect much when I was going to meet him....... from his photo in the website he didn't look any good...... was a bit chubby and nothing special........ but when I met him in person when we see each other for the first glance from a distance, I was suddenly struck by his appearance...... When he was walking up to me I can see that his figure was so good..... he was very tall and strong had perfect sexy manly body...... and when he was closer I can see that his face is so handsome....... I immediately felt attracted to him...... I've been in NZ for 6 years and this is the first time that I really get to meet a handsome guy........... most guys in real life are ordinary and not handsome at all....... this is really the first time I meet such a handsome guy...... and is sexy type of handsome......... and when he walk and when he's driving even when he is smoking(I don't really like people who smoke but the way he smokes is just so cool) he just seems so cool.........

I felt immediately attracted to him....... I thought to myself I've never met a handsome man like this......... and when we sat down and talk and he stops and smile at me...... his smile is so cute and radiant....... I can feel my heart pounding every time he smiles at me.........

and he said to me...... "It's so nice to meet you....... very pretty......." and after our short meeting(because he had to go meet his brother) I went to the library for a while....... then I received a txt from him, he said that he thinks I'm very attractive and desirable...... that makes me feel so good..... I still have that txt now in my mobile........ and I txt him back said that I think he's very handsome too......

One thing that is strange is that...... from all the guys that I dated...... they all thinks that I'm pretty...... since not just one, but many guys all thinks I'm pretty...... I guess that must be true then..... but the problem is...... I don't think that way myself........ when I look in the mirror I always think I'm so ugly......... but when I'm getting ready to go meet some guy for the first time, I make sure I dress up as nicely as I can.......... After I dress up I still don't feel that I'm pretty...... but then I'll just go and meet guys anyway....... if because I don't feel pretty myself then I don't go try dating at all..... then I'll be alone forever........ so although I don't really feel that I'm pretty but I still go try to date anyway........

surprising thing is the feedback I get is that they all think I'm very pretty...... that make me feel good cause that must be true then......... although I still don't feel that I'm pretty myself...... but then I don't mind about how I feel myself...... knowing that maybe I do appear pretty to them although I'm not feeling it myself........

But it's still so strange...... when everyone says that you are pretty but myself thinks I'm so ugly....... It's just so weird but that's how it is for me.........

anyway.......... since we both feel each other sexy and attractive..... our relationship developed so quickly...... I can't write about every little thing here or else would be too long....... but anyway....... what's the most significant thing to write about here? I think it was just the second day after we've met each other for the first time, we were saying lots of things through the mobile on the second day...... and we were exchanging txts back and forth in the evening...... then he suddenly said in the txt that he felt a little sad that he didn't see me the whole day and didn't get to kiss me and that....... he's coming to meet me right now(that was about 9pm at night)..... I thought he was just joking but then he txt and said "I'm on my way now...... you can say no if you don't want me....." I felt like I had no choice because I don't want him to feel rejected in anyway........ but(I'm living with mum) what am I going to tell my mum going outside to meet him this late at night....... but luckily my mum is a person that likes to sleep early at night and when he was on his way to my house my mom was already in her room getting ready to sleep.....

when I received his txt that his car is just outside near my house...... I sneaked out of my house...... I opened the front door gently..... make sure not making much sound...... when I'm in the front yard I can see my mom's room the light is still on...... but I know she's going to sleep soon and she's not hearing me........ so I walked tip toe through the front yard..... opened the gate really really carefully not to make any sound....... and then out on the drive way towards the street.........

does it sounds like some kind of novel now I think?...... but this is not a story that I made up it's all real....... but I'm feeling like adventurous now writing this part...... it's not something that happens in usual life......

when I opened his car door and get into his car he immediately gave me a kiss........ this is the first kiss for us........ well then we talked for a while and he said if I wanted to go for a little drive..... first I hesitated........ but after a while I said alright....... deep down I wanted to spend time private with him too....... and we drove around the block and he said...... what about park in the dark shadow I said ok....... so we parked at the side of the road which is very dark without street light.......

and then we kiss and then he began to touch my private and I didn't want to stop him at all because I was so attracted to him...... he tried to lower the seat so I can get on top of him....... but then I said people in the passing car could see right through the front window....... so he said what about the back seat...... so we both went to the back seat and......... we both take off the cloths and had sex and...... my vagina was so wet when he was fucking me..... he said yumm....... I'm sure he felt really good..... since I was so wet......... I've always been really wet when I had sex and all the guys liked it............

and after that we talked for a while and then I got out of the car about went home......... when I came to the gate saw the light in mum's room is already dark so she's already asleep....... so I went out and did that and nobody in the world knows........ that's just so........ I felt like we were like teenagers for doing things like this...... and avoiding parents........ but it was cool...... and I don't regret I did that with him cause I'm really so attracted to him.............

and what happened the next evening? don't believe it but we did the same thing again..... this time we drove up the hill and found a spot to park that didn't had any passing car at all..... so we did that........ making out in the car every night for this whole week...... every evening I would sneak out of my house when my mum went to sleep and go to his car and........ every night he tries something different and......... the first time in so many years that I'm able to enjoy sex and the sex we had is just so good.........

so what more can I write here? some problem really........ it's that....... I really enjoy when his penis is inside of me and when he is fucking me and I feel so wet and he feels really good........ but after a few days I find out that........ when he was fucking me the only feeling I had was very very wet and...... but I don't feel anything beside that....... I think I don't really feel the sexual pleasure when fucking....... I don't feel nothing.......

I been thinking about it these few days and I'm thinking about going to see doctor and tell them my sexual problem....... I don't feel the pleasure when I'm having sex...... I don't want to tell him cause I know he enjoys it very much and I don't want to disappoint him....... But if I can feel pleasure he would feel even more high.......

I use to be a person with overly sexual desire...... but after the depression I just lost all the sex drive I had......... I think it's a lot to do with depression...... but I'm going to talk to a doctor about it anyway.......

The reason we have to do it in his car is because we both live with our parents and we don't have a room our own...... it would be so good if we can do it in a bed and sleep together afterwards......... that would be just so good.......

So till today we've only known each other for one week exactly........ but we've already seen each others parents and I went to have dinner with his family today....... and after that he drove me and my son back and he stayed and talked to me and my mum for a long time and...... we've already known each others family so well........ it's really good.......

today after he stayed for a long time talking to us........ when he was about to leave...... I walk him to the front door and....... he kissed me and then hold me close........ his sexy body felt so warm and...... I felt that he really loves me so much...... and I'll always remember that moment when he kiss me and hold me tight........ I feel so loved and....... it's just so good........

well that's it about basically I don't have too much more to write and that's good....... I've written too long it's taken me 2 hrs I think....... or maybe a bit less I don't know....... but I started at 1:40am and it's 3:16am now....... so about 1 and half hr to write all this..........

but I'm glad that I wrote all this....... that I can express myself here..... the good and the bad...... anyway....... it's all good........
12:24 am
Back here again.....
Originally posted by ordinarygreen01 at Back here again.....
It's amazing I'm back here again..... can write stuff over here again..... forgot my password for so long and today I finally figured it out......

Kind of really said goodbye to Colin today.... don't know if he will still contact me or not...... I think probably not... that would be good anyway......

Felt a bit sad said goodbye to him...... for so long over a month time...... I've been looking at my mobile all the time expect him to contact me again...... actually not that I really want to be with him again.... but I was just not used to be all alone again so I wish he could contact me as if I still have someone with me........

I've been looking at my mobile hoping for his message...... and now he really contact me again and still thinks I'm his gf...... but at the same time his younger brother contact me and want to date me...... I've already said yes to his brother..... I can't talk to two of them at the same time........ so I have to tell Colin what's going on and say goodbye to him.......

After I told him that his brother is going to date me he just said "sweet as..."... I don't know how he really feel..... but I don't think he's going to mind too much anyway..... and he seem to love his brother very much so he will have good wishes for him....

It's just strange that after so long I've been longing for him to contact me...... and now when he really contact me again all I can say is 'goodbye'........ it's a bit sad........ felt like if I still miss him........ emotionally still feel that way.......

But not looking at emotions...... I know what kind of person he is and I KNOW that he's no good to be with at all....... maybe it's hard to say goodbye with someone I been thinking for so long...... but I still should know that he's really a trouble maker.... if I continue to be with him there will be nothing good at all...... I know very clearly about that........

But after I said 'goodbye' I was feeling kind of sad that I almost forgot how he really is......... this is really not a good time....... his brother already started to contact me........ I can't be talking to both of them at the same time........

Anyways...... it's obvious he doesn't care that much about me anyway...... he just want me mainly for my body that's so obvious........ I should really get my head clear and there really is no regret at all......... just that emotionally still feels like.......... was expecting from him for so long and now just had to say 'goodbye'...... at least I know he is well that's all I needed to know........

I don't know about his brother at all....... he seem to be so keen in dating me...... how will I get on with him? no idea...... but I will never know unless give it a try........ I think he will be a lot better then Colin at least don't have that much bad habits and not bossy or anything........

Maybe it's normal to feel kind of sad...... but I doubt if he would feel anything for me though...... but from myself I feel sad cause I've been thinking about him....... well because there is no one else to think about........ and I was with him for quite a while............ so it's normal that I feel sad...........

But I really do know how no good he is to be with....... there is no regrets........ I'll be alright soon........ and I'm getting new company soon so I'll forget about him and won't feel so much about him soon...........

It's kind of interesting to see how I will get on with his brother.......
Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011
1:48 pm
Have you ever seen something like this?
Long story is long. Congrats if you read everything.

I really need some advice here, or at least people agreeing with me that my boyfriend is not right in his head. Seriously, tell me if you’ve ever heard of a person like this!
A bit of background: We’ve been together for a bit more than a year, and I’ve moved in with him 4 months ago. There’s something wrong with him. A normal person doesn’t act like this. He refuses to tell me his opinion on anything and then he tries to make me feel guilty about things that don’t exist and he imposed on himself.

For example, before I moved in, I called him cause we were supposed to go to the mall.
Me: When do you want to go?
Him: I dunno. When do you want to go?
Me: How about now?
Him: Oh, I haven’t eaten yet, but that’s ok. I guess i don’t get to eat. That’s ok.
Me: ...we can go later after you eat, it doesn’t matter.
Him: No, you want to go now, so let’s go now. It’s ok, I understand.

Then he’s super moody and unpleasant the entire day. And of course that makes me upset so we have a terrible time.
When we’re ordering take out and I can’t decide, I ask him what he feels like eating and he says “We can have whatever you want.” So I say “ Ok, but what do YOU want?” And he just shrugs.

We were going to a store, and I ask if he prefers to walk or go on bike. He shrugs and says “I don’t mind, whatever you want.” So I say bike, so he says: “Oh. I guess I don’t get to buy anything then. That’s ok. It’s not like I was going to buy anything anyways.” So I say “ Let’s walk then.” But he says “no it’s okay, let’s go by bike. It’s okay, I understand. I don’t mind.” It’s obviously not okay! Then he was unpleasant and moody the entire trip.

See the pattern? When I ask his opinion on anything, he always says: “It’s okay, whatever you want. It doesn’t matter what I want, does it? We always do things your way.”
Arg! But I ask him what he wants! He never answers then gets upset and terribly unpleasant to be around when I choose the option he doesn’t like! And always always with the “It’s okay, I understand.” What does he understand? He understands that I’m a selfish person and he has to do what I say. That’s so not true! I do ask but when he never decides, I have to make a decision eventually.

Another thing he does: he gets angry and snaps at me for very, very insignificant things. No really, for no reason.
I was talking to him on the phone and I was hearing water so I ask what he’s doing, and he says” I’m doing my washing! I TOLD you!!” But he didn’t, and even if he did, what can trigger a reaction like this? His behaviour is completely unprovoked.

He was cooking fries in the oven, I ask if it’s okay if I put my chicken nuggets in there too.
Him: No! I don’t want your chicken on my fries. (He’s a vegetarian)
Me: Ok, I’ll eat something else then.
Him: Fine! Take it! (He takes out his fries and leave them on the counter)
Me: You can use it, I can eat something else, I really don’t mind.
Him: (Storms out) Let me know when I can use the kitchen!

I did not use the oven, and 30 mins later he says “ Do let me know when I can get back in the kitchen!” And I don’t answer cause I think he’s being stupid. On another day, he was cooking an omelette and he was on his computer when I saw this, so I thought he had forgotten about it cause it was pretty cooked:

Me: I think your omelette needs to be turned.
Him: (Misheard)What are you whining about?
Me: I think your omelette needs to be turned.
Him: Fine! I’ll turn my omelette if that’s what you want!
Me: I don’t mind...I thought you had forgotten it...
Him: I prefer it cooked on just one side, I have to turn it because you commanded it! It’s ok!
Me: ...

Usually when he does that I get so upset that I start to cry. I have talked about it many times and it never changes. He keeps saying I’m selfish but really I don’t force him to do anything! He just has a lose screw I think! I cry and he never, never, ever apologized. Once I told him: “ You never apologize because you don’t truly believe there’s anything for you to apologize about, right?” And he said “That’s right.” When I’m so upset that I don’t talk to him for a while, instead of fixing things he just says fine and doesn’t talk either. He never makes effort to fix our fights, even though he causes them. I don’t like it, so I eventually start talking again and try to fix things, but it’s only a matter of days/weeks before the cycle repeats. He acts like he’s the victim and he’s the one who has to forgive me, but it’s the opposite!

I’m not perfect, I make him upset sometimes too. But at least I do realize when I do wrong, and do say I’m sorry! I’ve thought about breaking up, but i do love him. He’s fine when he’s not in one of those crazy phases. I also need him to pay the apartment and bills... I don’t know what to do...I could watch what I say to him, and avoid anything that sounds even slightly condescending but really that’s hard since I don’t think I say anything wrong :( He’s the one with a problem. Please tell me you see it too! What can I do to solve this?
Tuesday, July 26th, 2011
2:25 pm
Participants Needed to Complete a Study on Relationships
I am recruiting participants to complete an online study. The study lasts 12-15 minutes and involves visualizing a relationship and answering a few questions about yourself.

The study has been approved by the Ethics Committee (known as the Institutional Review Board in the US) at the School of Management, University of Southampton. Any information you give will be kept completely confidential and in no cases will responses from individual participants be identified.

Click on the link to participate: https://www.isurvey.soton.ac.uk/condition_start.php?id=124

If you are interested in the results, I am happy to post a summary to the group once data collection is complete. Many thanks in advance!

Monday, June 13th, 2011
6:05 pm
Provoking Thoughts On Relationships

Hey guys,

A new book on RELATIONSHIPS has just been released. Have you got your own COPY?

Visit: http://www.thewisdombookshop.com/

Current Mood: cheerful
5:57 pm
Provoking Thoughts On Relationships
Hey guys,

A new book on RELATIONSHIPS has just been released. Have you got your own COPY?

Visit: http://www.thewisdombookshop.com/

Current Mood: cheerful
Friday, May 20th, 2011
12:47 am
need some advice :(
So my boyfriend and I have been together since February of 2010. We met while I was visiting a friend in Oregon. He was sweet and funny and understanding :) But the only problem is that in his previous relationships his girlfriends cheated on him and now he is as paranoid and as jealous as ever. He sometimes bosses me around and is scared of me leaving him like his previous gfs. He gets mad at me for going on facebook because its takes away his time with me. He wants me to basically not talk to my guy friends. I hate it!! But I love him :( We have plans to move in together in a week and someday get married but we got into this biiiiiigggg argument tonight! We havent talked all night and we shared some not so nice things.

I dont know what else to do. I want us to make it! I want him to someday be my husband...

Has anyone gone thru the same situation and managed to get through it because i dont know what else to do

Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks

Current Mood: blah
Thursday, January 13th, 2011
1:52 am
48 days and counting
hey there internet, this is my first official blog, so here it goes........
I'm currently in a relationship with a woman who i thought was amazing in the beginning. she was spontaneous, outgoing, fun to be around, caring and always was down for a roll in the sheets when the oppourtunity was presented. the problem i have since run into as the title of this entry suggests, for the past 48 days we have not had sex or been intimate in any vague way. I didnt think too much of it in the first few days and weeks, her "cycle" was an obvious deterrent and the holidays were approaching so we were both pretty busy. As the time past and school was done for the winter break and things were calming a little bit before the hectic christmas season really got into spring i began to wonder why we hadn't gotten to spend the alone time that we used to share frequently together. Again i let it slide passing it off in my head as just a bump on the road of life in this relationship, however since the holiday season i have not been fortunate enough as to recieve a sign of affection other than when i initiate the act, not a kiss, not a hug. I began thinking to myself, am i asking too much? Is there something that I am doing wrong that isn't providing her libido with the proper stimulation that a woman needs in order to be "in the mood" as they say? I then decided foolishly to confront my significant other on the subject.....well let me tell you was that a big mistake or what! I was not unconvince that she could have been unfaithful to me, however as a past trasngressor of the same act, I am prone to be a little more paranoid than the next person due to my knowledge of how easy it is to perform an unfaithful act, but i digress.....When I confronted her she was outraged that I would even consider that she was unfaithful and that just because we were not having sex didn't mean she was off sleeping with other people. So yet again i was stuck between a rock and a hard place, what do i do? I then asked her why she wasnt feeling "in the mood" and i was given the runaround of "oh well you know im busy with all my school stuff and i've just been feeling unhappy recently with myself" yada yada yada you know how it goes....So i resigned myself to push the matter aside in my head though i was beginning to lose some semblance of sanity having gone from having sex on a most frequent basis to being completely cut-off for nearing a month. But the blessed holiday season had yet another blow to bestow upon me, although this requires some backstory first. Prior to dating this particular person I was on a run of, how should i say this, less savoury of sexual adventures in the eyes of my friends. My recent conquests in the bedroom had not exactly measured up to the standards of my closest male compatriots. These started with the end of my previous relationship of 18 months with a girl whom i thought i loved, so being a newly freed man, what else would i do? Sulk? Moan and complain about being lonely? Hell no, I got right back on the horse (literally and figuritively) and persued the opposite sex like it was my job. A year of university in a larger metropolis compared to the city i grew up in provided many an exploit for the memoirs. And upon returning home i was renewed with a swagger and new outlook on life. Back to the original story, a few of the ladies that i had familiar relations with had just returned home from their respective universities and colleges and most were looking to relive their various adventures with me. If any one out there has ever been in a relationship without sex for a prolonged period of time knows that a six or a seven in real life looks a few numbers up on the scale in your sex-deprived brain. Needless to say I was faced with the first real test of temptation that i had experienced in this, my current relationship. The things that helped me through this were the following; I knew that had i done the dirtiest of deeds with these women I would not be impressed and neither would my guy friends, we can all agree that my current girlfriend is a serious babe and an amazing person all rolled up into one. Very seldom do men in my circle of friends happen upon such a person who will show us any kind of interest, so I had the resolve to stick it out, ignore the little man inside of me that wanted to fornicate with everything that i saw. So now we have reached the New Year, 2011, with the old addige that with the new year comes new oppourtunity, for me it was the new oppourtunity to go insane. I have tried to be supportive of my girlfriend and all that she does but i just can't see why she doesnt see my side of things without me having to serve it up to her on a silver platter and usually when i do that im chastized for being inconsiderate of her feelings and failing to be understanding of her situation. Admittedly I am by no means perfect, neither do i expect anyone else to be, but you put any other post pubescent boy in the same situation and I bet 95 out of 100 would running for the hills, and four of the other five would have cheated, once, twice, maybe thrice. But here i stand alone as the one percent, still faithful, still clinging to a hope that eventually everything will go back to the way it was and everyone can live happily ever after until the next time this kind of thing happens again.....But i will let you the reader be the judge of that, am I wrong for sticking around? am I a total idiot? should i be placed in a secret goverment lab and be studied? or am I doing the right thing for society? by attempting to take the pressure off the sexual side of a relationship, in an extremely over-sexualized society I may be alone in this fight........


the plaidbstrd
Monday, October 11th, 2010
8:06 am
Faith and religion
I'm catholic and my boyfriend's a born-again christian. We knew this was gonna be an issue even before we became a couple and we still decided to be together and it's been 2 years now. Lately, this has become an issue and I don't wanna turn away from my religion just for him - it isn't right. I am willing to compromise on whatever but he's not. He's not telling me point blank but it's pretty much simple for him, it's either I'm in (with their fellowship) or I'm out (of his life). I'm thinking should we end this?
Friday, October 1st, 2010
10:26 pm
Whats going on :(
Hey guys....I just need some advice, not sure where to turn........

I met a guy about 6 weeks ago on plenty of fish. We got chatting and discovered we lived in the same village, and i was about to start the same place of work as him (its a big local company with over 500 staff)....and it seemed like it was meant to be. Anyway we hit it off right away, meeting up a lot and in the short space of a month I totally fell for him...he was my perfect guy. Then one day he tells me he went to see his ex as a friend. But then he started acting really distant, and a week later he tells me he's still in love with her. I was obviously gutted but then 3 days later hes back on plenty of fish....and I dont know what to make of it. Is he lying? Or did he just go off me? I wasnt sure if something happened with his ex and he felt guilty, so he ended it because of that. I know the only way is to really ask him, but I dont want him to know how upset i still am....I dont know what to think!!!! Any advice would be greatly appreciated :( 

Current Mood: confused
Friday, September 17th, 2010
2:31 am
This boy I know
 There is a guy I like and it's fairly mutual from what I can tell. We've known each other for roughly 2 years and there's been a sexual tension between us for probably the past 4-6 months. I really want to get it resolved, ie, dating. However because of my past relationships (3 years in an off-and-on abusive relationship, 6 months in an emotional unstable relationship, and very few, very short relationships that lasted two months or less) I can't find myself to every actually broach the topic when I'm around him. I've come close once and haven't had the courage/found a chance since. He's a really stable guy. Seriously, this guy has been someone I can lean on in tough times (since we've known each other, I've had a couple of family members die, including my father).

Any ideas on what I can do? Like I said, I really don't know what to do.
Friday, November 13th, 2009
11:55 am
Email Flirting Tips - How To Flirt with Russian Girls online
What makes email flirting fail and what makes it succeed?
When flirting with Russian women via email, you need to know how to respond to ads and what to expect when someone responds to your ad. As you engage in email flirting, the other party would somehow expect that soon, you would demand for a face-to-face meeting. How would you then persuade someone to go beyond email flirting? What if you were not able to convince your online friend to meet you in person? How would you pick up the pieces afterwards?
Whether you’re an online suitor or the other way around, you need to understand that there is such a thing as online miscommunication. As would be in other forms of flirting, email flirting sometimes fail, as well.
So what keeps email flirting with russian girls from succeeding? What makes Internet dating candidates turned-off with their online suitors?
Thursday, October 29th, 2009
8:22 pm
heyy, i know this is probably a really common thing but i'm stuck. I'm 16 and i live in nottingham in the UK. There is this guy ive known since i was at play school, so since i was about 4 or 5. And we were 'childhood sweethearts' at primary school. We went out in year 7, but you know how it is when your realy little, you 'go out' with someone but technicaly your not because nothing ever happens. Well after that year i kinda lost touch with him because he wasnt in any of my classes, but last year i started to see him again and it brought all these old feelings back and made me realise that i still love him. This year i have at least one class with him. At our first sixth form social (basicaly a party in a field) we kissed (but my friend told him i liked him and i dont know whether thats the only reason he kissed me.) We didnt talk about it in he week after, and i went all shy around him. Anyways, a few weeks after i got realy drunk at a party and kissed this other guy, alot, and the guy i like saw and now i think he thinks im not interested. I went to my friends house the other day and he was there and he kinda ignored me. I dont know what to do. I dont know what to say, im driving myself mad thinking about him. Please help me, kat xxx
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