grey_heart_13 (grey_heart_13) wrote in boys_and_girls,

Dating a couple

So as a little background; 8 and a half months ago I started dating a couple. We call it a 3way relationship. I am dating them both equally. At first it was amazing, we were all having fun being in love. Then some time around april I was forced to move out for the night because the girl didn't feel like I loved her. Well we have all moved past that, or so I thought. Ever since then it hasn't been the same between me and her while me and him are just fine. All she does is hand all over him, and be lovey and cutsey with him while I am left in the background by myself. Sometimes she will talk to me and have a nice moment and laugh but nothing more then that. I say nothing and wait until things get better and suffer. Many of you will say "talk to her" but you see, you can't talk to her about things that will upset her because of her psycological issues. She will get extremely emo and upset and turn it around and make subjects thats have nothing to do with it, a part of it. My boyfriend understands and is behind me 100% but like I said. You can'talk to her. I feel like she would rather have me not around so she can be alone with him and I'm not jealous of her, I'm jealous of both of them because they give each other so much attention and affection and most of the time I don't feel like I'm considered a part of the whole.
A part of her "issues" is having to be right all the time. It has gotten so bad that I can't express an opinion or even a fact! My mother was adopted so the only blood I know is my mother sister and grandmother. Thus I don't know my family medical history THEREFORE I don't know what is genetic. I have always had afib flutters, or heart flutters. Your pulse speeds up for a brief second and you need to gasp for air, your heart feels like it beats really hard and sometimes it can make you dizzy. This is not normal to happen as often as it happens to me. It can lead to serious problems like blood clots which can give you a stroke. As it happens hyperthyroidism has a link to this. My boyfriend has had hyperthyroidism and is currently suffering hypothyroidism this time. He was listing off some symptoms which were pretty detailed and all of them checked off. Thyroid problems can also lead to serious health risks. So my girlfriend pretty much said to not worry about it because it's just anxiety. There are no anxiety disorders in my known family and if you knew me, it takes a LOT to give me anxiety. I always keep a level head. If my she was telling me this to help me it would be one thing but it's because she is going through a lot of things herself. She has psycological issues, a back problem and she can't be one up'd in her mind. When you injure yourself she has to compare it to something she's had or suddenly something is wrong with her.
I am proud to say I am in love with my girlfriend, I am not proud to say that she is not the girl I fell in love with and I am literaly on strings with this whole relationship. The only thing is that this thing we all have is my life and ending it would be taking my soul away from me. I have no idea what to do.
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